Satire is an art, sadly not all are artist

I do not slander people or write negative opinions about any political party, government body, celebrity and for that matter even media. I just read something on Web today, it made me sad and disappointed. May be, I went all wrong about it and missed some sarcastic jibe there.

Read an article on scoopwhoop.com and it gave me such a setback as in how much biased people are and this is such a fad these days.

Also, I’ll go on a limb to say that I may be wrong in my perception and it may be a taunt against people who despise noida. But, the way it reads is poor. May be the article suggests this as a sarcasm on FB page but for people, for every ordinary person visiting the website it will look like a criticism. Sometimes, pictures you put up doesn’t show your intentions very well. And, the one or two liners used in write up with preceding photographs can be misguiding.

And, the heading of the article doesn’t go well, if you are depicting it as a satire.

I have taken her points, one by one and voiced my views and even shared some information. I may not be all accurate here, so pardon me.

“20 Reasons why Noida Is A Terrible Place”

Noida is a filthy place. It’s practically a garbage dump.

It’s still better than many other cities. Besides, name one place devoid of garbage in India. We are the ones responsible for it and then we have audacity to spit nonsense and be ‘a spitfire citizen.’

2. And, hey don’t even get me started on the traffic.

God, last time I checked, Mumbai’s traffic was almost a nightmare, Delhi-Gurgaon traffic jams are long tortures. So, cut some slack and do not border on hysteria when it comes to UP.

3. Also, what nightlife?

Gardens Galleria, Logic City Centre have become one of the most popular hub in Delhi-NCR. I have few fantastic names on tips- Time Machine, Tito’s, Smoke Factory, Imperfecto, Skyhouse, Jokers, et al. People forget to do their homework before commenting.

4. Concert to door ki baat hai!

There may not have been huge concerts, but Noida has sprung to entertainment scene in past 4 years and in comparison to New Delhi, Gurgaon, Mumbai, and Bangalore, there is much catching to do. But, hey, it has a Canvas Laughing Club and not forget, even Delhiites are swarming to DLF Mall of India for shopping, oh and that, Noida has IMAX Screen too.

I guess, there is lot a person can do even if there are no concerts, and I, here apologise for being quite low on information about concerts, because I remember some Live Music Nights at Smoke Factory and few other places.

5. 9 baje ke bad to kabristan wala sannata chaa jata hai.

Arrey, Nahin! Visit Gardens Galleria, even at 11:30, it’s amazing to be there. Kids frolicking, Starbucks brewing hot cuppas, Beautiful fountains, couples, strolling. Come out a little folks, it will do good to you.

6. Social causes? Who the fuck cares about those anyway?

Now now, what makes me sad most is that, without’ fuck’ people do not find emphasis enough in their sentences.

If one would do little more delving, I guess there are people, taking care of strays, (oh Baba, isn’t that the biggest humanitarian act), also, there are many storytellers in Noida, who are taking their storytelling sessions in rural places for free.

We all have lofty ideas about social causes, what we forget is even the tiniest act of kindness and support to other human or animal is a sort of social cause. It’s not a social cause if it’s not published in a newspaper or on web or on some other social media channel?

7. There is no place for religion and spirituality.

Oh, I presumed ISCKON, Noida propgates spirituality, and Akshradham, a few kilometres away. And, as much as I remember, Kali Bari is for worshiping, Shri Sai Mandir, it’s a sort of landmark for people since years, Mosque and Imam Bargah, Gurudwara Sri Guru Singh Sabha, Christ Church, Methodist Church, I guess all of these are places quite renowned for religion and spirituality.

You even have Art of Living Centre, Ramakrishna Vivekananda Mission, if that covers your spiritual scope.

8. Cool places in Noida? You mean tapri?

Oh, yes of course , like Delhi has Janpath, Lajpat, Sarojini, here Noida has Brahmaputra, Indira Market, Sector 50 local Market, Sector 41 market. I guess, thats’ the definition of cool these days, if I’m not wrong, where you can hang out with friends, have fun, snack on roadside savouries, buy cheap, use and throw dresses.

9. There is no place for street food in Noida.

I can suggest some good places like, visit Brahmaputra market, or even Lal Market , Bistro 37 at Sector 37, Godavari Complex, Sector 18 too has some famous parantha walas, Sector 16 A has few bhaiya serving mouth watering Maggie noodles and poha.

10. It’s a concrete jungle. Ugly buildings on an ugly landscape.

Neither it’s an out an out concrete jungle nor it is an ugly landscape. Does one really think, Delhi can accommodate the lacs of people relocating there from different states, towns, and cities every month. No. You need space, there are lots of issues in play here. You can’t just blame city for this. We all need comfortable living, somewhere down the line, all the concrete buildings are part of our sustenance. We can run in many directions, blaming a city, government, and lot but sit and think, are we really supposed to comment on rise of buildings.

Every residential sector has many parks to cater to children and adults. Every ‘CONCRETE” building has a club, swimming pool, joggers lane, parks for children. So, I guess, we can’t just go around pelting stones.

11. Parks? Parking ki to jagah hai nahi Noida mein

Visit Sector 15 Park, it’s huge and lush green too. Every sector has more two or three parks as I said earlier.

And, Parking is a menace everywhere in Delhi-NCR. Sector 18 has Mutlilevel Parking Facility opened recently, Logix City Centre has launched Mechanical parking system.

12. Definitely not a place you want to take your kid to.

Kidzania, Ski House, Fun City, Gaming Vegas, World of Wonder, Playbox, Parks, Appu Ghar, IMAX for fantastic 3d movies, Playhouse at PVR Superplex. Book a summer vacation if you wish to, some of the famous summer camps, swimming schools, storytelling classes, Clay modelling classes, Classical dance academies, Sports academies.

13. Not a single spot to enjoy sunset.

Does one forgets, it’s a city not a beach or mountain or a river side. Having said that, you got to get up real early and visit Okhla bird sanctuary at the outskirts, you can even take long long drives on Yamuna Expressway and enjoy sunsets. I mean, if you are really looking for scenic ones, take a weekend getaway, not that expensive these days.

14. Roads? You mean Kachchi sadak, like in villages

Did folks go to sleep in late 90s and woke up just now and haven’t even peeked outside your window?

15. Public transport ke naam pe shared autos hi hain inke paas.

Metro, buses, shared autos, Ola and Uber cabs services, Rickshaw- I think these covers public transport fine, right? Does other cities have something more? I’m really at loss here.

16. Jhopdiyon mein toh rehte hain log.

“Baby saari duniyan kothiyon mein bhi toh nahin reh sakti.” Noida is one city where everyone can afford to have living space as per their budget. Not always you get everything as per your budget, but then that’s why we all work hard, right? You can’t expect a poor rickshaw driver living in a studio apartment.

17. Entertainment ke naam pe Star Plus dekhte hain log.

They go to Comedy club, movies, Live drumming sessions, expos and exhibitions. It’s all covered in previous points as well.

18. Street shopping in Noida? What do you wanna buy, rolling papers?

No, I think funky bags, scarves, jewellery, footwear, handicrafts, and books would be a better option. And, there are plethora of places to go for all of these.

19. People are unruly and uncultured.

One can’t be judgemental. Not everybody has means and ways of getting cultured and educated, some of them are just getting by from day to day.

Don’t be bothered, be concerned! Offer some weekend learning sessions at rural areas. Many corporate professionals are doing same. One girl, From IBM she makes it a point to go out and teach slum kids whatever she can. She doesn’t call anybody uncultured, rather she opts for teaching.

20. Noida is not a place for sports lover.

Take a poll, may be that’d enlighten people a bit.

Ramagya Sports Academy, Chilla Sports complex, Greater Noida Cricket Stadium and Buddh International Circuit for races.

I’m not here to judge anyone.

I’m not a fanatic in love with Noida. I’m just an ordinary person who when opens a website, wants people to be clear on what they are reading. Not everyone is schooled fire sarcasm or a satire (which, I always consider as an art.)

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