I stopped working when I had her, there are thousands of moments I would have missed otherwise (this doesn’t mean working women don’t spend time and dote on their kids, I’m just talking about myself here and I’m sure they all are doing wonderful job balancing their professional personal life).
Now I work. And, regularise and coordinate my work in a way that she doesn’t misses me or I to her.
Sometimes, I want to break free and run away and undo being a mum, and in a split second her giggling face and twinkling eyes tells me that I don’t remember where I end and she begins. She is a part of me that feels like breathing for sustenance. There is never a place where she hasn’t gone with me. I take her to libraries, book fairs, exhibitions, museums and then we go out on dates and explore all the news cafes that has opened up in the city. We like exploring new places, and we indulge in lots and lots of shopping on our dates. She is tied to my stomach and chest from the age of 3 months -wee babe and since then there is no looking back. We gossip, we do bitching, we make faces, we comment and do all sorts of oohs and aahs and then we take a soothing foot spa to relax ourselves. Somebody commented to me, “ you have given your daughter a lot of exposure unusual for her age.”
Well, hell yeah! She deserves to know the facts, I read somewhere, “ treat your kids like wisest and most magical people,” they understand everything so just tell them the truth, and also suggest what is age appropriate acts. They will never fail you if you will never fail them.
She wanted a sip of wine, because I was drinking so first I informed her it’s an adult drink but she can have a taste and see if she likes it or not and I let her take it. Result, she found wine despicable and extremely bitter and she said, “its horrid stuff and I don’t think I can take it.” It’s done, I didn’t even have to deny her.
I was reading Mary Wollstonecraft’s A Vindication of the Rights of The Woman and when I left room she took the bookmark out and read the page and kept it back. I know she is a little curious creature and she would want to know what mumma is doing and reading and she wants to follow. Sometimes I just let her be. I let her do anything she wants, use cosmetics, put on my dresses, heels, use my phone and make her videos… that’s something I’m going to live off when she would be off making her life.
It’s tough being a mother and they say it’s a thankless job but I have found my religion in it. Since the day I have become a mother, I know what exactly it is— how much pain, hard work, perseverance, kindness and empathy is needed at every blink of an eye.
I’m full of gratitude that I have been blessed to become a mother and have felt the creation of divine entity— the innocence – a child.